The other night, as I was driving home with a car full of screaming kids, I looked up. Up to the southern mountains that stand as sentinels around our "happy valley." Up and beyond to where my heart tells me my Heavenly Father watches and is mindful of me and my small struggles.
It is January in Utah. By far, not my favorite month. January is quite often the time between the beautiful white Christmas snows of December and the later season snows of February and March. It's too cold for words - too cold for pretty much anything - and with no precipitation, the unthinkable happens.
The haze settles in.
For those of you who have not experienced haze, I'll do my best to explain. Our valley is blanketed with a dirty blanket-like film the lingers at the base of the mountains. You look at the haze - because you can see it - and you know you're breathing that stuff in. That in addition to the freezing cold air burning your lungs, there is also the haze.
On top of this, on this particular January day, the sky was overcast and cloudy - thinking about snowing, but all the time knowing it wasn't going to. It was gray. It was gloomy. It was downright depressing.
Did I mention I was in a car filled with screaming children?
But then, as I looked up at those mountains, I noticed the clouds were breaking up just a bit. And like frozen chunks breaking free from the solidly frozen-over lake, river, or stream, there were pieces of clear sky. Glimpses of what lay beyond the solid, gray gloom below. And the sun was setting. So those pieces of clear sky were illuminated with the myriad strains of colors that exist between orange and pink, reflecting their colors on the white-capped mountain peaks.
Here, I thought, is God.
So often we find ourselves in the personal haze of life. We know it's bad. We can feel it. We can see it. But our spirits are numb, are minds and souls are frozen and polluted with what is (and sometimes what isn't) happening around us. Sometimes we're doing it to ourselves. Then, as if that weren't enough, we find ourselves surrounded by the solid, gray gloom of community, country, and global crises - situations where children go hungry, innocent lives are lost, natural disasters claim entire communities.
But, if we are looking, we can catch a glimpse of God through the clouds. He is there, beyond all that we can see and feel around us. His sky is clear and painted with the dazzling, sun-streaked colors of a desert sunset. He sees us from that vantage point, the light of his glory shining through the clouds and the haze right upon us.
He calls for us to follow Him, and while we cannot walk through that parting of the clouds, we can walk His path here in the haze below, mindful of the warmth and light that shines above - even when we cannot feel it or see it.
I recently encountered a word in the scriptures that I adore.
Dayspring.
Dayspring is the dawn. It is a title often ascribed to the Savior. As such, I think it is even more than just one simple dawn. Just like a spring of water will always bring forth fresh, clear water - even when rivers and streams run dry, a dayspring always brings the light of a new day - light that fully warms and illuminates everything in its path - rebuking the darkness as it goes.
So, as January progresses, one slow, gray day at a time - look for the glimpses, and know that as a child of God, you carry a piece of that dayspring with you always.
Pondering,
Meredith
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
remember, remember
This week our sunday school lesson was centered on Moses 1.
This section of the Pearl of Great Price develops the simple doctrines found in the Book of Genesis in the Old Testament, adding essential and very powerful truths about the nature of God and our relationship to Him. God is the creator of "works without end" (v4), an endless and almighty being who directs the "workmanship of [His] hands" (v4). And yet, he is also an Eternal Parent, identifying Moses repeatedly as "my son" (v4, 6, 7) for whom he has a great work to do. While conversing with the Lord, Moses beholds the Lord's glory and bears witness of the expanse of His creations. The experience overwhelms him, both physically and spiritually:
"And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth." Moses 1:9
After a time, Moses regains his strength and is visited by Satan, who immediately tempts him, saying "Moses, son of man, worship me" (v12). As I read this verse and the verses that follow, wherein Moses tells Satan that he knows himself to be a son of God, that he knows of the glory of God, and that he therefore knows Satan to be a subtle imposter, my thoughts returned to Moses 1:9, where it reads:
"and Moses was left unto himself."
Prior to verse 9, Moses had been having one of the most powerful and intimate discussions with the Supreme Creator of the universe ever recorded. He was privileged to glimpse the expanse of eternity and his role in the Lord's plan. But then, as with all spiritual experiences, the window closed, the Lord withdrew His spirit, and Moses was left alone.
Each of us, though our communion with the Spirit may not be as profound as that experienced by Moses, has times when we feel the Spirit powerfully, intimately, bearing testimony to our souls of the truthfulness of the gospel, the reality of the plan of Salvation, the divinity of the Lord Jesus Christ, and our role (however small) in moving the work along. As we progress along the path toward true discipleship, we can taste of the goodness of God.
But then we are left unto ourselves.
And then what?
For Moses, it was only hours before he was confronted with the father of all lies, personally trying to lead him away from the truths he had just been taught.
It would be easy for us to say, how could he possbily have been tempted to follow Satan? He had just beheld the glory of God! It would be easy to say, "if I had talked with God - face-to-face as the scriptures teach - I would never falter in my testimony."
But would we?
As I pondered, my thoughts were directed to Laman and Lemuel. These two guys had tasted of the glory of God. They had been visited (more than once) by angels. They had be shaken to the core by power of God. They had witnessed and experienced many of the same miracles, been party to the same doctrinal instruction, and read from the same scriptures as Sam and Nephi. And yet, when all was said and done, they reached a point where they were beyond feeling, a point when the father of all lies came to lead them from the truths they had been taught - and they followed after him.
So what was the difference? The difference between Laman/Lemuel and Sam/Nephi...and Moses?
I believe the difference was in their alone time.
The Book of Mormon teaches that following a spiritual experience, Nephi would inquire of the Lord, seeking further instruction and a personal witness. He would ponder on what he had seen and heard. And then, like Moses, when temptation came - and I am certain it did - he would remember.
Remember.
This was the lesson of Moses 1:9 for me - Remember.
As a parent, I am constantly reminding my children to do something or other. When they don't and I ask why, they generally respond that they forgot.
Do we do the same?
As each of us experience those tender, precious moments of truth when our spirits are instructed by the Spirit of God and when we, like Moses, glimpse His glory, we need to remember. When the spirit leaves us to ourselves, we need to return to the Lord for further instruction and a personal witness. We need to build a reserve of spiritual memories that will strengthen us against the temptations of Satan.
Then, when the father of all lies comes to tempt us, we can, as Paul instructed the Hebrews "cast not away therefore thy confidence" (Heb. 10:35). We can remember, as Moses did, we can rebuke the temptor, and we can return with confidence as beloved sons and daughters of God and hear the words of the Lord speaking to us: "Blessed art thou...for I, the Almighty, have chosen thee, and thou shalt be made stronger than many waters..." (v25).
I believe there is great power to be found in this remembering, in fact, I believe, as Helaman did, that it is critical to our spiritual survival against the buffetings of Satan:
"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." (Hel. 5:12)
May we each take time to seek after the Lord and His goodness and then, once we have experienced it, REMEMBER HIM in the times when are left unto ourselves.
Pondering on,
Meredith
This section of the Pearl of Great Price develops the simple doctrines found in the Book of Genesis in the Old Testament, adding essential and very powerful truths about the nature of God and our relationship to Him. God is the creator of "works without end" (v4), an endless and almighty being who directs the "workmanship of [His] hands" (v4). And yet, he is also an Eternal Parent, identifying Moses repeatedly as "my son" (v4, 6, 7) for whom he has a great work to do. While conversing with the Lord, Moses beholds the Lord's glory and bears witness of the expanse of His creations. The experience overwhelms him, both physically and spiritually:
"And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth." Moses 1:9
After a time, Moses regains his strength and is visited by Satan, who immediately tempts him, saying "Moses, son of man, worship me" (v12). As I read this verse and the verses that follow, wherein Moses tells Satan that he knows himself to be a son of God, that he knows of the glory of God, and that he therefore knows Satan to be a subtle imposter, my thoughts returned to Moses 1:9, where it reads:
"and Moses was left unto himself."
Prior to verse 9, Moses had been having one of the most powerful and intimate discussions with the Supreme Creator of the universe ever recorded. He was privileged to glimpse the expanse of eternity and his role in the Lord's plan. But then, as with all spiritual experiences, the window closed, the Lord withdrew His spirit, and Moses was left alone.
Each of us, though our communion with the Spirit may not be as profound as that experienced by Moses, has times when we feel the Spirit powerfully, intimately, bearing testimony to our souls of the truthfulness of the gospel, the reality of the plan of Salvation, the divinity of the Lord Jesus Christ, and our role (however small) in moving the work along. As we progress along the path toward true discipleship, we can taste of the goodness of God.
But then we are left unto ourselves.
And then what?
For Moses, it was only hours before he was confronted with the father of all lies, personally trying to lead him away from the truths he had just been taught.
It would be easy for us to say, how could he possbily have been tempted to follow Satan? He had just beheld the glory of God! It would be easy to say, "if I had talked with God - face-to-face as the scriptures teach - I would never falter in my testimony."
But would we?
As I pondered, my thoughts were directed to Laman and Lemuel. These two guys had tasted of the glory of God. They had been visited (more than once) by angels. They had be shaken to the core by power of God. They had witnessed and experienced many of the same miracles, been party to the same doctrinal instruction, and read from the same scriptures as Sam and Nephi. And yet, when all was said and done, they reached a point where they were beyond feeling, a point when the father of all lies came to lead them from the truths they had been taught - and they followed after him.
So what was the difference? The difference between Laman/Lemuel and Sam/Nephi...and Moses?
I believe the difference was in their alone time.
The Book of Mormon teaches that following a spiritual experience, Nephi would inquire of the Lord, seeking further instruction and a personal witness. He would ponder on what he had seen and heard. And then, like Moses, when temptation came - and I am certain it did - he would remember.
Remember.
This was the lesson of Moses 1:9 for me - Remember.
As a parent, I am constantly reminding my children to do something or other. When they don't and I ask why, they generally respond that they forgot.
Do we do the same?
As each of us experience those tender, precious moments of truth when our spirits are instructed by the Spirit of God and when we, like Moses, glimpse His glory, we need to remember. When the spirit leaves us to ourselves, we need to return to the Lord for further instruction and a personal witness. We need to build a reserve of spiritual memories that will strengthen us against the temptations of Satan.
Then, when the father of all lies comes to tempt us, we can, as Paul instructed the Hebrews "cast not away therefore thy confidence" (Heb. 10:35). We can remember, as Moses did, we can rebuke the temptor, and we can return with confidence as beloved sons and daughters of God and hear the words of the Lord speaking to us: "Blessed art thou...for I, the Almighty, have chosen thee, and thou shalt be made stronger than many waters..." (v25).
I believe there is great power to be found in this remembering, in fact, I believe, as Helaman did, that it is critical to our spiritual survival against the buffetings of Satan:
"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." (Hel. 5:12)
May we each take time to seek after the Lord and His goodness and then, once we have experienced it, REMEMBER HIM in the times when are left unto ourselves.
Pondering on,
Meredith
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